Memorial Day

Memorial day is a special day... when i was younger i didn't really get it.. why do we have to have a special day to remember those that have passed..? i just thought about my loved ones that have past all the time.. i didn't just want to do it on one day and that is it!!! but now that i am older.. it is a special day to pay respects... to go out and to make sure that your loved ones that have served and have done epic things through out their lives it is a day to go and make sure that their final resting places are as they should be and time to go out and hang with them in mind, body and soul... well this memorial day hit me pretty hard.. with the war and a lot of people that i know fighting in it, going out to Camp Williams to visit those who have moved on from this life was quite the site... the above photo is just a taste... there were flags everywhere and this was a time that you can really see people that gave up everything for our freedom... and you saw it in mass quantity.. the way that it should be.  God bless our TROOPS!!!

Over Memorial day we went out and visited my sister and Mean Gene... the funny thing is, he isn't mean at all.. he is actually one of the nicest people that you will ever meet in the whole planet!!! anyways... we went out there Mom, rich and I, oh and Gus and Bails.... and we had a glorious time.. we had to leave ryno at home to hang with the pups.... and he had to work... anyways we had a bbq and all sorts of awesome freaking things... 

Livie and Gene threw a bbq with all of their friends and it was a lot of fun.. the best part was this little girl... i just loved her... but no matter how much i did... Gene did more!! Gene is going to make the best dad someday... he loves kids so much... wait... he pretty much is a big kid himself!!! love ya GENE!!!!  oh and another special event at the bbq... it was the first time my mother had ever seen a keg in a shower.... HAHAHAHAH!!! gotta love the mom!!!!

It was a great time!!! thank you guys for such an awesome time!!!!

Wedding Drama

so as of Saturday the 7th... i have found out that my dress that i love more than life itself (above) is RUINED!!!! so i have a week and a half (June 21st) to find a new dress... that fits.. because there is no time to have alterations done... i need a miracle and a hat trick to happen with in the next week.... any one got any advise... dress places to look at.... where i might find said, perfect dress of dresses???? i am at my wits end here... i am almost to the point of finding a nice shirt and limiting photos to waist up!!!! HELP friend HELP!!

i know... im gay

i have been super crappy at making new posts.... and i left my camera cord at work so i have to use one of my old photos.. even though i totally have awesome ones from Memorial day..

so for now... tell me the first thing that you think of when you see this photo.... GO!

Whats NEW

this is a post for everyone that reads this blog..... i would like you all to tell me one thing that is new in your life.... ready go!

God's plan

Isn't it strange.... you know how you are taught something ever since you were little and you believed it because you either wanted to or because you were told to.... well have you ever actually felt God's plan... recently Ry and I have found a church that we love and a church family that we love... and we have always hear that God has plans for all of us... and that we are all here for a reason, and that "there are no accidents" 

Well that is all well and good but what does that mean... just this last week i had a revaluation... i had something huge happen to me, and to Ry and there was some that lead up to this even and something that followed this event... but the bottom line is that Ryan and i felt it... we felt God's hands leading us down this path and we felt his plan... what an awesome feeling to know that you are being watched over and looked after!!!

we are very blessed with the amazing gifts that we have been blessed with.... our very loving families and our amazing loving friends... and who can forget those very lovable dogs!!!!  we are blessed in our house and it is a wonderful feeling!!!

Rylee Jo

Speaking of little kids that rock my freaking world.... i have one of the best friends in America, her name is Jamie Smith... below.... Rylee is the adorable little one above!!!

ok where was i.... oh ya Jamie... i have to tell you that jamie is probably one of my oldest and dearest friends... i met her in seventh grade when my elementary and hers joined together at NLJH!!!!  She was most def the most popular girl in school, and she befriended me with no questions asked!!! she took me under her wing, and she didn't know then, but i did, that she was my saving grace.... Jamie has been there through jeeping in MOAB,  we were both the first ones to turn 16 so we drove everyone EVERYWHERE.  and we loved it... we had stomps in the target parking lot.... we TP'ed the crap out of everyone and he house was the place to be!! (thank you Laurie)  

well it was time to graduate and she went down to SUU and i to USU while she was away she met this freaking amazing man named Steve! They got married and i loved him instantly... they then had a baby a few years later and named her Rylee Jo Smith.... this little girl is the best!!! she has the freaking best personality and Steve is going to have to beat the boys off with a stick!!!! (as you can see)

Well with growing up, comes grown up problems.... what i wouldn't give to have a good old dance in the target parking lot.... well in 06 i got divorced... and it was the lowest part in my life, but Jamie was there and so was Steve, they didn't judge me, they didn't look down on me and thought that i failed.... they just opened their big open arms and hugged me as tight as they could... and at a time when i couldn't feel more empty and alone... Jamie was there with her smile and her incredible optimism, Steve was there with his huge engulfing hugs and then there was Rylee... she was the best therapy there was.... When going through something like that, you feel, alone, ashamed, embarrassed, a failure, and that no one needs you in the world... and there was Rylee... she let me hold her, and she clung to me and slept on my chest... she needed me... and i needed her.... i needed her mom and i needed her dad and the Smith family will never know how much they mean to me!

they were and still are a HUGE light in the darkness and i know that in them i have not only great friends... but i have family!!!

Thank you Jamie for being my friend and my sister for so long.... Steve, thank you for always being there for me to talk to, to joke with and for your hugs when i needed one most! 

And Dear little Rylee, thank you for giving me hope... and faith that i didn't fail.. somethings are just not meant to be.  and restoring in me my self-worth... You are so tiny and so small... but you do amazing things.....!!! i love you all!!!

Caiden

Last night we got to baby sit our Nephew Caiden... he is so sweet... he made me want a baby so BAD!!!!!!

In other news... i have decided that i am going to start teaching sunday school.... Ryan and i have been going to Alpine Church and i thought, that a way to get my baby fix is to teach the pre-schoolers.... I'm pretty freaking excited about it!!!! i will be letting you know if it is hurting or helping my drive to be a mom!!!